The Wars of Suzumiya Haruhi
by shoreofeternity
Summary: Its a normal day in the SOS Brigade clubroom... Or is it? A new computer game called Gun Fire XXVII 17 , a first-person shooter game, has arrived at the SOS Brigade's hands. Who will win the battle?
1. Genesis

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

* * *

It was a normal day in the SOS Brigade club room, Haruhi screaming at Kyon, and Mikuru making and pouring tea, Koizumi failing at Othello, and Nagato reading silently. Suddenly… *knock* *knock*

Haruhi looked up from searching the web on the SOS computer, yelling, "Who is it??? Hurryupandopenthedooridon'thaveallday"

The door creaked open and outside, stood the Computer what's-its-name's president and crew, holding a disc. Uh oh, not another game.

"…Ah-er…We, The Computer Research Society would like to challenge y-"

"What? A challenge? A CHALLENGE??? Denied!" came Haruhi's loud, energetic, and angry reply. She ran up to the president, who was frozen in shock in the doorway, and grabbed the disc,

"What is this? Gun Fire XXVII? Thanks for the game!" and she slammed the door on his face.

"Nagato! Hurry and install this game! I'm bored! Install it on the folder-computers too!"

Damn it, its notebook.

Five minutes later…

"Complete." Nagato answered with her usual emotionless voice, and went and sat down and returned to reading.

"Really?" Haruhi shrieked, "That fast? Ok let's play. All of you play with me!"

"Must we…" I replied.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY???"

"Ahh nothing,"

"Be glad to Your Royal Highness," was Koizumi's reply. You jerk.

"…" Nagato once again didn't speak, but looked at her and replied simply with a nod and put down her book.

"Ehh???" came the scream of Mikuru.

All four of us reluctantly open the game up,

"Hm, a first-person shooter game eh?" I said. Haruhi shot me a look that said shut up.

I sighed and looked at the instruction manual.

Objective

Defeat your enemies to win the game, the person with the most points win.

Hm. Sounds simple enough.

The game started with a beep.

Hm. Interesting, I have a choice of an AK-47, a sniper-rifle, shot gun, rocket launcher, or mines. Oh, and I started with a pistol and knife. There are 3 tanks on the map. With only 2 repair stations. Great. A screen popped out and asked to make a screen name.

PLEASE ENTER SCREEN NAME HERE: __________

Okay…what should I chose, ah I know

PLEASE ENTER SCREEN NAME HERE: Kensei

I looked at the side-screen a looked at what everyone else chose,

Yuki N. …figures.

Mr. Hiro…wow

SCCBL (SOS Supreme Commander Chief Brigade Leader SOS) …um…

Miku …???

It was a Free for All. The person who gets 10 kills first wins.

Hm. This should be fun.

* * *

End of Chapter 1


	2. Target Practice

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

* * *

BTW, for those who were wondering, yes again, the game Gun Fire XXVII (17) is just a random number, same as "The Day of Sagittarius III"

I started out walking a long a pathway, holding my sniper rifle. When all of a sudden…BOOM! The next thing I see and hear are my "body" flying off and Koizumi laughing. The screen popped out saying Mr. Hiro killed Kensei with a rocket launcher. Mr. Hiro has gained one point.

"Koizumi you!!! I'M GONNA GET YOU!" The game re-spawned me.

I immediately went and jumped of the building where I spawned, (I didn't get hurt?) and starting sprinting off towards a person running off. When I caught up I realized it was Mikuru walking into a wall. I actually pity her.

"Uwahh… I'm stuck…Eh? KYAAAAAA!!!"

I had shot her with a rocket launcher.

A screen popped out saying Kensei killed Miku with rocket launcher, you have gained one point.

Miku: TT__TT Kyon-kun… Why did you kill me???

Kensei: That's the point of the game and its fun.

Miku: But why??? Why me???

Kensei: Cause you're awesome target practice. :D

Miku: -_-

Koizumi suddenly smiled more than he usually did, WAY more.

A second later Haruhi screamed, "KOIZUMI IS THIS TREASON???"

Wha?

Mr. Hiro killed SOS SCCBL with an AK-47, Mr. Hiro has gained one point.

Koizumi just smiled and bowed his head saying, "Apologies to you, it won't happen again."

*click* splat.

Mr. Hiro killed SOS SCCBL with an AK-47, Mr. Hiro has gained one point.

"AGGGGHHHHHHH! KOIZUMI!!!!!"

Once again, Koizumi just smiled and bowed his head apologetically towards Haruhi.

While all this ruckus happened, Mikuru had someone stumbled her way into where Haruhi, Koizumi and I were.

Hm, wait a minute… Where did Nagato go?

* * *

End of Chapter 2


	3. Hat Trick

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

* * *

Splat-Splat-Splat-Splat.

My screen was filled with blood. What?

I heard Nagato's emotionless voice, "Hat trick"

I looked up at her, astounded that she knew that word, let alone knowing what it even meant, must have been the books. I looked at my screen,

Yuki N. killed SOS SCCBL beneath a tank, Yuki N. has gained a point.

Yuki N. killed Mr. Hiro beneath a tank, Yuki N. has gained a point.

Yuki N. killed Miku beneath a tank, Yuki N. has gained a point.

Yuki N. killed Kensei beneath a tank, Yuki N. has gained a point.

"…" There was a very awkward silence, even Haruhi was shocked.

Immediately after wards, we (Except for Nagato) all spawned not ten feet away from each other. Damn!

BOOM!

SOS SCCBL has killed Mr. Hiro with a mine, SOS SCCBL has gained a point.

"HAHA! PAYBACK!"

Mikuru had once again walked herself into the middle of the crossfire,

"Uwahh? KYAAAAAA!"

SPLAT!

SOS SCCBL has killed Miku with an AK-47, SOS SCCBL has gained a point.

"HAHA, Mikuru you must figh-"

Splat.

Kensei has killed SOS SCCBL with a sniper rifle, Kensei has gained a point.

Boom, headshot.

"KYON!!!!"

"Haruhi, this is a game," I said matter-of-factly.

"Humph." Was her only reply.

So, once again, I was alone. I started too walk off to find the others when… BOOM!

Once again., I flew off and died.

"Wha? Who did that? Who? Who???"

"It was me." Was the simple reply I got.

"This game is rather fun to play, the intensity of this firing mechanism is fun."

Woah, I never though Nagato would say that.

Current Score:

----------------Points------------------Deaths

Yuki N. ---------5-------------------------0

Mr. Hiro -------3--------------------------2

Kensei --------2--------------------------3

SOS SCCBL --2--------------------------4

Mikuru -------0---------------------------3

* * *

End of Chapter 3


	4. Thank you Mikuru

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

* * *

I re-spawned and immediately I saw Koizumi, walking slowly. Holding a sniper rifle, I let out a small breath and clicked. Splat. Head shot.

"Ah?" Koizumi exclaimed, "Nice." Darn it, stop being so nice!

Kensei killed Mr. Hiro with a sniper rifle, Kensei has gained a point.

Suddenly I was peppered with shots, so that's why Koizumi was walking slowly, Haruhi yelled,

"HAHAHAHA! I GOT YOU KNOW KYON!!! DID YOU THINK YOU COULD ESCAPE?"

Hey, if your going to sneak up on someone you could have just knifed me and be done with it. I turned around and put a clean shot through her head.

Kensei killed SOS SCCBL with a sniper rifle, Kensei has gained a point.

Hey, there's a tank over there. Suddenly I saw Koizumi going for the tank, I saw him shooting at me, and go into the tank.

Uh-oh. I dived for cover.

Koizumi started driving towards me and firing, when all of a sudden… splat.

???

Mr. Hiro killed Miku with a tank, Mr. Hiro has gained a point.

"…" Wow.

* * *

End of Chapter 4


	5. Asary? Who's Asary?

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

* * *

With Koizumi temporarily distracted, I took a chance, and stepped out into the open, and…

Got run over.

Mr. Hiro killed Kensei with a tank, Mr. Hiro has gained a point.

Asary has joined the game.

??? Asary? Who could that be… I don't know an Asary.

Asary: Hey everyone!

Kensei: Um, hi…

Asary: How are you doing Kyon?

No way, how do you know my name?

Kensei: Uh… fine.

Asary: Good to know, are you better after that knife wound?

No way… she couldn't be… Asa-Ry: ASAkura RYouko.

Kensei: ASAKURA???

Asary: Hey there!

Kensei: AUGH!!!

I looked up at Nagato, she looked at me and nodded, as if knowing what I was going to ask. Oh dear, I better be careful now.

Splat. Oh dear.

Asary killed Kensei with a combat knife, Asary has gained a point.

* * *

End of Chapter 5


	6. Nagato Vs Asakura

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

* * *

Oh boy, now I've got Asakura here, great.

Current Score:

---------------Points----------------------Deaths

Yuki N. --------5------------------------------0

Mr. Hiro -------5 -----------------------------3

Kensei --------4------------------------------4

SOS SCCBL --2 -----------------------------5 (Not surprised, with her always running up to people like that…)

Asary ---------1------------------------------0

Mikuru --------0 -----------------------------4

Okay then.

I spawned and saw Asakura once again running towards someone… that someone would be…Nagato!

This should be interesting.

Nagato immediately turned around and took out a rocket launcher…but first…what? I saw Asakura's character shrink…shrink…and shrink…

"Data manipulations complete," Nagato's cold voice cut the silence.

I walked over to her side and looked at her screen; it looked like she had some kind of developer's console out.

Gain access…user?

User…Yuki N.

Password_______

Passwordcode_access granted

Admin status granted to user…Yuki. N.

sv_cheats 1

Target user Asary size = 0.0000001

Searching… found

User Asary size = 0.0000001

Complete

…Wow.

She then shot the rocket.

KABOOM!

All I saw left was a microscopic figure that resembled a human. Ouch.

Yuki N. killed Asary with a rocket launcher, Yuki N. has gained a point.

I walked back at my desk to see Nagato fire a rocket at me. Damn!

I then immediately jumped out of the way.

Whew. It missed.

Then the missile suddenly turned on an angle straight towards me. Augh!

KABOOOM!

Yuki N. killed Kensei with a rocket launcher, Yuki N. has gained a point.

Darn it again.

Current Score:

---------------Points----------------------Deaths

Yuki N. --------7-----------------------------0

Mr. Hiro -------5-----------------------------3

Kensei --------4----------------------------5

SOS SCCBL --2----------------------------5

Asary ---------1----------------------------1

Mikuru -------0-----------------------------4

* * *

End of Chapter 6


	7. Cheating, Teams, What's Next?

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

* * *

"The point of this game is to be the first one to get 10 points, correct?" Nagato asked me.

"Umm, yeah…"

"Understood," and suddenly, just like before, she started to type fast. REALLY fast.

All of a sudden…

"Ehh? What happened?" Mikuru said.

"Ah?" said Koizumi.

"Wow Yuki! I never knew you were so good at video games!" exclaimed Haruhi.

What?

I looked down at my screen.

Yuki N. HAS WON THE GAME! CONGRATS!!!

What?

I looked at the score before and Nagato was definitely not close to winning yet.

"Nagato, what did you do?"

"What are you talking about Kyon, Yuki won fair and square!" yelled Haruhi.

"I cheated," said Nagato, ignoring Haruhi.

Do you mind explaining?

As if reading my mind, she said, "I am sending what I did right now."

I looked down at my screen and it showed this:

score, user Yuki N. change ______

score, user Yuki N. change 10

changelevel de_yukin

spawn_interface=0.65

complete

Oh, so that's how. But what's with the last line?

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling wondering what was next when…

WHAT???

Teams? Oh great…and what's with this random map?

I decided to ask Nagato,

"Hey, Nagato did you make this map?"

"I did, the teams are now listing on your screens."

Oh boy, the teams are…

Team A:

Kensei

Nagato

Mr. Hiro

Team B:

Miku

SOS SCCBL

Asary

So. I walked through Yuki's bizarre map when.

Asary: HI KYON!!!

What?

I saw Asakura rushing towards me with, once again a combat knife.

Suddenly, Nagato appeared out of nowhere and…stopped the knife with her bare hands. The knife and Asakura started sparkling… and disappeared.

Yuki N. killed Asary with data eliminator, Yuki has gained a point.

Okay…

And Mikuru saw Asakura's dead body and started crying.

Miku: NOOOOO! ASAKURA!!!

Asary: It's okay…I'm…fine…

Yuki N.: No you are not, you're data feed has been eliminated.

Asary: …Shut up.

Koizumi then walked up to Mikuru's crying "body" and shot her clean through her head twice with a pistol.

Mr. Hiro killed Miku with a pistol, Mr. Hiro has gained a point.

Mr. Hiro: You were right Kyon, she is good target practice!

Miku: Uwahh! I'm not target practice!

Kensei: Sure you aren't.

I clicked my mouse and… a bullet went straight through a newly spawned Mikuru.

Kensei killed Miku with a sniper rifle, Kensei has gained a point.

Miku: TT__TT

BOOM! Splat. Splat.

What?

SOS SCCBL killed Kensei with a rocket launcher, SOS SCCBL has gained a point.

SOS SCCBL killed Mr. Hiro with a rocket launcher, SOS SCCBL has gained a point.

"HAHAHAHHAA! PAYBACK!"

* * *

End of Chapter 7


	8. Reading My Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

Please will someone review...

* * *

*beep* Asary has left the game.

Wha? I went to the data that Nagato was still sending to me, and…Well, that explains that.

kick

kick ______

kick Asary

Asary has left the game

*beep* AsaBig has joined the game.

*beep* AsaBig has joined Team A

*beep* Mr. Hiro has joined Team B

I think I know who that is.

Miku: Eh? Asakura? Uwahh? Kyon-kun, who is AsaBig?

AsaBig: Remember, she can not know who I am.

Miku: Eh?

Kyon: Asahina-san, don't worry about it.

AsaBig killed Miku with a sniper rifle, AsaBig has gained a point.

Miku: Eh?

AsaBig: Sorry Mysellllll…Mikuru-san. Headshot.

Suddenly, I found myself being bombarded with grenades, BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM!

Augh.

Only as I died I saw Koizumi throwing at me,

Mr. Hiro killed Kensei with grenades, Mr. Hiro has gained a point.

I looked over at him with a glare of death, and all he did was smirk. That jerk.

Fine, be that way. I'll get you yet,

I spawned and surprisingly, saw a tank almost RIGHT NEXT TO ME. How could that be, Nagato?

Quickly checking the data, I was suspicions were correct.

spawn_user Kensei

spawn_user Kensei coordinates ____

spawn_user Kensei coordinates x=0.25, y=0.75

done

npc_create npc_create_militia_heavy_tank_ground at coordinates x=0.25, y=0.75

done

Wow… I wonder if she can make me a chainsaw.

Still on the screen, the data from Nagato…

npc_create npc_create_metal_chainsaw at coordinates x=0.25, y=0.75

Immediately, a chainsaw spawned right in front of me. Wow… Talking about reading my thoughts… Can she? I'm still not sure.

I picked up the chainsaw and walked towards the tank, only then did I realize that Mikuru was walking into the tank's side. So I charged up my chainsaw and cut her into pieces. Oops…

Kensei killed Miku with ?€∂≠∫←√©™€≠≥×ﻸﻛĒľĞŇǜǼΙợợ, Kensei has gained a point.

What's with the random symbols? Maybe because of this chainsaw, there isn't supposed to be a chainsaw in this game right?

Miku: TT__TT

Kensei: *shrug*

I got in the tank, and as I thought, Koizumi was still in the same place, waiting for a target.

I shot the building he was hiding in. KABOOOOOOM!

Kensei killed Mr. Hiro with a tank, Kensei has gained a point.

"Heh," Koizumi stifled a grin, and turned his screen towards me,

His body had flown of into a "black hole". Nagato, you overdid this level, speaking of which, did you make this level DURING you were playing with us?

* * *

End of Chapter 8

Author's Note: AsaBig=Asahina-san (Big), refering to the Novels of TMHS, also will someone PRETTY please review?


	9. Counter Attack

PS: This is an especially long chappy, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

Author's Note: Pretty please, will someone please review? I need to know how I'm doing, pretty please? If I'm happy, I'll start posting things up a bit faster, by the way, anyone got requests or story ideas? Because I need some… Anyways, please review and enjoy the chappy!

* * *

AsaBig has killed Mr. Hiro with a WMD (Weapons of Mass DISTRACTION XD). AsaBig has gained a point.

AsaBig: Ah!

Kensei: -_-,

AsaBig: Sorry Kyon-kun, I have to leave. Uh. Something came up…

Kensei: Wait!

*beep* AsaBig has left the game.

Kensei: …

Miku: Wha? Uwahh…

Kensei: Um… Nothing Asahina-san…Don't worry.

*beep* Asary has joined the game.

*beep* Asary has joined Team A,

Asary: NAGATO!!! Even though we're on the same team… I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!

KABOOM!!!

I looked at my screen and saw a nuclear explosion far off.

Asary killed Yuki N. with nuclear bombs, Asary gained a point.

Well, that answers the question of where Nagato was. I looked over at Nagato and saw her face; it was once again, the face of silent anger. Nagato… Please don't act harsh…

Too late.

Glancing at the lines of streaming data from Nagato, I saw…

Admin granted to user: Asary

No way, did Asakura just hack her way in?

User: Yuki N.

Open file from: C:/Documents and Settings/Program Files/Nagato Yuki/Games/SteamX/SteamXApps/Gun Fire XXVII/GameData/Source Mods/Stage/Gun Fire/Cheats/Content/Materials/Models/Data

Uploading file…16%

Uploading file…67%

Uploading file…100%

Complete

Extracting…4%

Extracting…54%

Extracting…86%

Extracting…93%

Extracting…100%

Complete

Create New File: Yuki N.

Complete

Create structure data, open file: C:/Documents and Settings/Program Files/Nagato Yuki/Games/SteamX/SteamXApps/Gun Fire XXVII/GameData/Source Mods/Stage/Gun Fire/Cheats/Content/Materials/Models/Data Manipulation/Strada/Structure

Upload…100%

Complete

Streaming…58%

Streaming…100%

Complete

Upload Weapon File: C:/Documents and Settings/Program Files/Nagato Yuki/Games/SteamX/SteamXApps/Gun Fire XXVII/GameData/Source Mods/Stage/Gun Fire/Cheats/Weapon/Yuki N./Factor/IDTE/weapon_

Uploading…100%

Complete

Transfer weapon file "weapon_" to user: Yuki N.

Complete

change_Body Armor effectiveness user: Yuki N.

BAe: "_____%"

BAe: "250%"

change_Body Armor effectiveness user: Asary

BAe: "_____%"

BAe: "0%"

npc_create npc_create_template

copies: ____

copies: 10

change_template file: C:/Documents and Settings/Program Files/Nagato Yuki/Games/SteamX/SteamXApps/Gun Fire XXVII/GameData/Source Mods/Stage/Gun Fire/Cheats/Content/Users/Yuki N.

Complete

I heard Nagato speaking very fast again. I took out my high speed camera…

"Ah? Nagato. What are you saying?" Haruhi said

"Nothing."

"…Okay…"

I recorded all that she said and played it back slowly.

"Contact Data IntegrationThought Entity…establishing link… Complete. Interface: Yuki N. copies 1-10. Adding boost in data. Homing Mode activated," Wow… Homing Mode again? "Health: 200, completed,"…Wha?

Suddenly, the line of data began moving again.

Private chat user: Yuki N. , Kensei

establishing… 59%

establishing… 100%

I quickly looked on my game screen and…

Yuki N.: are you receiving this?

Kensei: Yes, what did you do?

Yuki N.: I have simply modified Asakura Ryouko and my self's "body".

Kensei: … But what exactly?

Yuki N.: I have made my newer self stronger; a new weapon has been formed. Body Armor effectiveness has been made stronger. I have also made 10 copies of myself, all copies have had boosted attributes data. Homing Mode and Health have been turned on and Health is now at 200%. Asakura Ryouko's Body Armor effectiveness has been reduced to 0%.

Kensei: wow

Yuki N.: This link will stay online till the end of this game, it is encrypted to only you and me, the IP addresses and , Itsuki Koizumi, Asahina Mikuru, Haruhi Suzumiya, nor the Computer Research Society can see this let alone join our network. Ok. Good to know. By the way, when was Nagato this talkative, I think its only when necessary, chanting incantations, whatever they are, its "Classified Information" according to Asahina-san, when I ask, and on computers. Figures.

Yuki N.: These changes have not been effective yet a limiter is in place, therefore preventing me from doing this, the limiter must be lifted before I can do so. Only you have the authority to lift it…

A moment of silence…

Yuki N.: Permission?

Kensei: …Ok, do it!

Yuki N.: I see.

The Nagato-san that had spawned next suddenly changed in many ways. A super soldier in all ways.

User: Yuki N. height: 1.83 meters

Change complete.

Restriction user: Asary placed.

Move: Asary to: Team B

Move: Mr. Hiro to: Team A

Well, that was self-explanatory, now what?

*beep* Asary has joined Team B

*beep* Mr. Hiro has joined Team A

Ten Nagato's spawned next to me, and spread out around the map. Each one with its own transponder linking back to Nagato, Me, and the new joiner Koizumi again.

Oh Boy.

* * *

End of Chapter 9

Please Review!

*cough* *cough* You gotta love that button don't you? *poke* *poke* press the button...


	10. Magical Boy Idiot Kyon

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

Author's note: Just for this Chapter, remember this, Haruhi=GOD, also there is a bit of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha in here… so I don't own MGLN either.

* * *

A terrified Mikuru screaming hysterically in the SOS Brigade room, with Haruhi constantly telling her to shut up.

"WAHHHHH!"

"SHUT UP!

"UWAHH!"

"SHUT UP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!"

"Wahh…*sniff*" Thank god, my ears were starting to hurt. Wait a minute, did I just say thank god? Oh boy…

"Mikuru! If you won't shut up, I'll make you wear TV costume around your chest! Hey, actually that's not a bad idea, yes! I'll get it tomorrow."

"EHH? WAHHHHH!"

"SHUT. UP!"

Haruhi finally shut up and started playing the game again…

BOOM! A huge explosion sound erupted from who-knows-who's-computer…But…

"Argh!"

"Huh?"

"…"

What?

A moment later, I found out.

Miku killed SOS SCCBL with a rocket launcher, Miku has gained a point.

What? MIKURU?

But that wasn't it, after that, followed…

Miku killed Mr. Hiro with a rocket launcher, Miku has gained a point.

Miku killed Yuki N. with a rocket launcher, Miku has gained a point.

*beep*

At the corner of my screen, Nagato's private channel with me started moving again.

Yuki N.: It was my mistake; I did not realize Asahina Mikuru had fired a projectile.

Can she really read my mind? Wait a minute; she knew where the firing button was?

Kensei: Ah… I'm sure it was a mistakenly fired shot…

Yuki N.: Negative, she clicked the button on purpose.

Kensei: Yes, but did she KNOW that she was pressing the shooting button?

Yuki N.: …

Kensei: …

Yuki N.: No.

Kensei: Well there you go, it wasn't on purpose.

Yuki N.: Wait. I am sensing a huge disturbance…

Yuki N.: I am sorry I will talk to you later.

15 seconds later.

"Ah…" said Koizumi

"WHA?" yelled Haruhi

"Eh?" exclaimed Mikuru.

Yuki N.: I am back.

You call that "later"?

Yuki N.: Suzumiya Haruhi has changed the level to her favor.

Kensei: Huh?

I checked the screen. Oh…

Yuki N.: Suzumiya Haruhi has changed the level which suits her best.

Kensei: I see, but what's the point of even talking to me?

Yuki N.: …Because.

Kensei: …

Well, that was explanative. Yes, it REALLY was.

I looked back on my screen.

… I was now in some sort of a hangar; wait a minute…Why do I seem to recognize this?

AH! Now I remember! It was from that anime that I saw… What was the name again? Hm… Magical Girl Lollipops Nano? No… Magical Grape Lyrics Nate? Hm… Magical Ape Lyrical Nanofate? No, definitely not… Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha? Yes! That's it… I'm on a ship name the Asura I think…

"COOL! A SPACE BATTLE? NO! IT'S-IT'S-IT'S A…Kyon what is it?" Haruhi fixed me with a piercing gaze,

"I dunno, how the hell am I supposed to know…" I said,

Haruhi looked at me with a face full of displeasure, and looked back at her screen.

Seems like there are no points, just free for all fun…

We all got on our individual ships and immediately saw the "device" names that I have no doubt that Haruhi had unknowingly made…

SOS SCCBL: Supreme Staff

Mr. Hiro: Hammy

Kensei: Stumorid

Yuki N.: Undesirable

Miku: Cute Bunny

It appears we have magical powers. Why? Anything but magical stuff.

"COOL! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE SOMEONE SPECIAL!"

If you haven't notice, we all have special powers here.

Ok… I started out flying out with my "device" named Stumorid, no doubt named after Stupid, Moron, and Idiot.

"Um… Stumorid… Set up?"

Immediately, a pink light surrounded "me", and we transformed into… a pink mage.

WHAT?

I was holding a staff with my device set into it.

Ugh, this is all Haruhi's fault I bet you.

SOS SCCBL: Hahahahaaa. Kyon, that **really** fits you. XD

Kensei: Shut up.

I checked my "powers" on the side panel and it showed the list of powers I had.

Ok…

"Uh… Stumorid, Bind!"

Oh that's what that does.

I suddenly saw a white flashy object fly past me, in pink binds. It was Koizumi.

Mr. Hiro: Ouch…

"Hammy, BIND BREAKER!"

**Roger. BIND BREAKER.**

The binds that were holding him there shattered.

Quickly, I cast another spell.

"Stumorid, Dragon Blaze!"

**DRAGON BLAZE.**

Suddenly, flames burst out of my device, burning Koizumi into a crisp cookie. Huh? Cookies?

Koizumi spawned somewhere close by and…

A blank looking mage, also in white flew past. That mage was wearing white, looking very angelic.

A bright square lit up behind the mage, who then spoke, it was Nagato's cold voice.

"Hollow winds come forth, darts of the lizard preparing to fire on the helpless target firing not once but thrice, come forth, Voltaire the Cockatrice!" (Thanks Motus)

"Undesirable, bind."

**BIND**.

White vines came out of the magic square and locked Koizumi in the place.

"Undesirable, Miracle Encore."

"Freid, Dragon lord of lizards, may you bestow upon this young lizard, the power to break through, everything in its path, don't let anything stand in its wrath! Blazing Wrath!"

**MIRACLE ENCORE. BLAZING WRATH.**

Balls of fire surrounded the humongous dragon, and the lizard roared in fury.

"Voltaire, Bite."

**SCREEEEEE! **

The cockatrice bit Koizumi.

Koizumi turned into stone and dropped straight into the ground at 1120 mph, going straight through Japan into USA, landing onto the White House.

This is crazy. Haruhi… I hope you don't do much more. I can't take it.

* * *

End of Chapter 10

By the way, sorry for the lateness of this one, I was busy, thanks for the three people for reviewing, also...poke the button....


	11. Final Chapter: Portals, and God Mode

Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

This is my first time, so please review. This is based on the perspective of Kyon.

I apologize for not updating in two months; I had exams to study for. Anyhow enjoy!

* * *

"This is getting so frustrating! I keep getting killed!"

Haruhi, two words: Shut. Up.

*beep*

Yuki N. killed SCCBL with a sniper rifle. Yuki N. has gained a point.

*beep*

Yuki N.: To prevent any further disturbances, I will terminate connection with you, and revert the last stage to the first stage.

What?

Yuki N.: I shall also mind-wipe Haruhi Suzumiya.

Kensei: Wait! Wh-

Yuki N. has left the chat room.

* * *

There was a moment of darkness and the stage reverted into the first one.

changelevel de_dust

Oh.

She changed levels. Again.

Suddenly… An unknown being jumped out from behind a wall and stabbed me.

"HAHAHAHA! I got you now Kyon!" yelled Haruhi.

"Actually…"

SCCBL killed Miku with a combat knife. SCCBL has gained a point.

Not surprised with her bad aim.

I turned around a shot her clean through the head.

Kensei killed SCCBL with a pistol. Kensei has gained a point.

As I looked up from the two crumpled and rapidly disappearing bodies of the two girls, a saw a person holding a...a…I really don't know.

Initiate – Emergency Contact – Kensei

Establishing…Complete.

A screen appeared.

Yuki N.: Warning. Incoming projectile.

The pop-up screen disappeared.

Wait! Wha?

BOOM!

Mr. Hiro killed Kensei with a water balloon. Mr. Hiro has gained a point.

Oh. So that's what it was.

All right then, time to use some of my own tricks.

npc_create npc_create_portal_gun

noclip

All right, so now I can go through walls and make portals…Interesting.

Let's practice.

Along came Mikuru walking into a wall.

Perfect.

I picked up a crate and made a portal on the ceiling right above Mikuru, and dropped the crate through a connecting portal and watched what happened.

I looked up and saw a crate crash onto Mikuru's head.

Kensei killed Mikuru with ???. Kensei has gained a point.

Hm. Weird.

Hey! When the crate dropped, watermelons came out!

All of a sudden…

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Several large explosions rocked the stage.

Everything started disintegrating before my eyes.

Quickly using my cheat, I went through a wall into the middle of nowhere to safety.

Unfortunately, I forgot about the portals.

A pillar of fire erupted in my face.

SCCBL killed Yuki N. with Administar. SCCBL has gained a point.

SCCBL killed Kensei with Administar. SCCBL has gained a point.

SCCBL killed Mr. Hiro with Administar. SCCBL has gained a point.

SCCBL killed Miku with Administar. SCCBL has gained a point.

"YES! I AM SO GOING TO WIN THIS!" screamed an extremely excited Haruhi with her new found weapon.

Kensei:… Nagato-san, what happened.

Yuki N.: Nothing out of the ordinary.

Kensei: …

Yuki N.:…

Kensei: Did you do anything?

Yuki N.: No.

Kensei: To help her?

Yuki N.: … Yes.

Kensei: What?

Yuki N.: God mode.

Oh.

* * *

After a couple hours of relentless and merciless killing, at 7 o'clock pm, Haruhi finally let up and let us all go home.

Mikuru breathed a sigh of relief.

Koizumi just kept smiling.

Nagato just stood there.

I just grabbed my coat and started to walk out the door.

"Boy am I hungry! Everyone, let's all go out for dinner together! Kyon's treat!"

Wait, WHAT???

Well, at least we stopped, I though we might get stuck playing for the rest of our lives.

Anyhow, see you all!

* * *

**End of Chapter 11 and **_**The Wars of Suzumiya Haruhi**_**.**

Yes, this is the end, I know you're all sad too, but anyhow, PLEASE REVIEW!


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